Hardly a day goes by without a new report metal thieves making off with electrical wiring or manhole covers. As disruptive and dangerous as it may be, the combination of high metal prices and high unemployment has resulted in a growing number of metal thefts.
I will write about the lengths to which companies and governments around the world are going to in order to address this problem another day, but today I will keep it a bit lighter.
Recently, I have come to appreciate these reports not so much as sources of news, but for their entertainment value. Picturing thieves bumbling around in the middle of the night, cutting wires that are carrying thousands of volts of electricity or trying to make off with trucks full of radioactive metal makes me shake my head and chuckle (and maybe a little thankful it hasn't come to that for me).
But, for a moment let's forget how costly, disruptive and entirely too common metal theft is becoming and look at the lighter side of some recent news reports:
1) Kilo of Metal Found in Peruvian's Stomach: Surgeon
All I can think is that he is lucky to have had the metal removed surgically. I can't imagine how painful it would have been to have hundreds of nails come out any other way.Doctors in northern Peru have removed almost a kilogram of nails, coins and scrap metal from a man's stomach, a surgeon that operated on him said Wednesday. "The patient came in with severe abdominal pains. After examinations we discovered that he had hundreds of nails in his stomach," Carlos Delgado, a surgeon at the hospital in the town of Cajamarca, told AFP.
Requelme Abanto Alvarado was admitted to the hospital on Friday. After a two-hour operation doctors removed 900 grams (two pounds) of nails, coins and scrap metal from his stomach, as well as a small knife... Full story
2) Russian Police Hunt for Thieves Who Stole a 200-tonne Metal Bridge
200 tonnes! This one just underlines the role that scrap metal buyers have in the metal theft problem. How can you not be culpable if you're buying 200 tonnes of scrap metal, which suspiciously resembles a bridge that recently went missing?Russian police are hunting scrap metal thieves who stole a 200-tonne metal bridge in a night-time raid. The bridge in Khabarovsk in eastern Russia vanished overnight and was part of the only road leading to a local heating plant. Now staff at the plant have to find alternative routes to work... Full Story
3) Leeds Cable Burns Man 'Unrecognisable'
Let's hope the 21,000 volts shocked some sense into him.A self-confessed metal thief who was seriously burned trying to steal live power cables said his injuries were so bad his daughter did not recognise him in hospital.
James Sorby, 22, of Cavalier Close, Cross Green, Leeds, was left close to death after being hit with a 21,000 volt shock at a power sub-station. The impact blew part of his skull off, leaving his brain exposed... Full story
4) Czech Scrap Metal Thieves Get Darwin Award
The Darwin Awards are given for astoundingly stupid judgment leading to self-destruction. Named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it…
This year’s awards (2007) have just been announced – and the Czech Republic is well represented - in third place - by a group of thieves who attempted to steal scrap metal from an abandoned factory in the town of Kladno. Unfortunately for them they selected the steel girders that supported the factory roof. Once they were dismantled the roof collapsed, crushing two of the thieves and badly injuring the remaining three... Full story
When you win awards for your stupidity you're really in a class that makes the cast of Jersey Shore look like Nobel laureates.
If you know another good story, feel free to share the link.
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